Over-The-Top is Out of the Norm

by Stephanie Raha, Editor -in-chief,  The Christophers
The next time you’re channel-surfing to find a TV show, you’ll probably notice that you’re seeing more and more over-the-top emotional outbursts.  But is it just a media phenomenon – or is it catching?  As viewers are we being influenced to have our own meltdowns?  And are these emotional over-reactions becoming more acceptable, more the norm?
A recent article in USA Today asked, “Is TV causing our reactions to boil over?”  Certainly, television has been blamed for exposing audiences, especially children, to excessive violence for generations.  So what’s different now?  Perhaps it’s the type of violence as well as the participants and their situations that have been changed. 
Reality TV has become immensely popular on both broadcast and cable outlets.  Most of these shows put everyday people in unusual circumstances, usually vying against one another for prizes.  Other programs offer what are supposed to be slice-of-life situations.  Still others have celebrities competing, sometimes for charitable donations.  But the overall appeal to audiences appears to be that all of these programs are unscripted and that whatever the participants say and do – however outlandish or inappropriate – is strictly up to them. 
Many viewers realize that a reality show – from its concept to the specific urgings of the producers or hosts – encourages extremes of behavior.  More than that, these over-the-top words and actions are simply not normal. 
Sarah Coyne, a professor of family life at Brigham Young University, is the co-author of a study on aggressive behavior on TV.  After reviewing programming from five reality shows and five non-reality programs including dramas, comedies and soap operas, she found that reality TV averages 52 acts of aggression per hour and non-reality TV averages 33 per hour.  These acts include both physical aggression (especially punching, pushing and kicking) and verbal aggression (most commonly yelling, arguing, or insulting others).  Coyne believes that such levels of media violence are “producing this culture of being mean to each other.  We’re setting up our culture to being over-reactive.”
How do we recognize our own inappropriate aggressive behavior – and how do we deal with the actions of other people?
Judith Siegel, author of Stop Overreacting and associate professor of social work at New York University, says, “An overreaction is about emotions that are bigger than the immediate situation calls for.  You may be releasing a lot of frustration, but your response is far greater than what is justified.”  Most people who overreact learn that “it leads to consequences that lead to regrets.  People will say ‘You’re way over the top,’ or afterward you may feel guilty or remorseful.”
As with every aspect of life, we need to recognize our own responsibility for our words and actions.  Whatever outside forces may affect us, we still need to choose our own path, preferably a peaceful one that we travel with God.  “Too often, we think that God only cares about the ‘spiritual stuff,’” says pastoral counselor and writer Gregory Popcak.  “We forget to invite God into our work struggles, our challenges, and our feelings.” 
Staying cool and calm isn’t always easy, but it sure beats the consequences of allowing ourselves to get hot and bothered and blowing up at those around us: better for them and far better for us.