You Can Never Tell.....

Stephanie Raha, Editor-in-chief, The Christophers
Maybe you’ve come to the conclusion that you never can tell.  I know I have.  While that sounds rather obvious, the fact remains that many of us operate on the premise that we know exactly what’s what.  We consider ourselves pretty fair judges of human nature.  And we certainly can tell if something that we say or do really matters.  After all, how can we not know the difference between what’s important and what isn’t?
Except that we are often flat-out wrong.  We take it for granted that if our words or actions are insignificant to us, other people feel the same, but that’s not always true.  Something as simple as a pat on the back, a smile or a “thank you” can make someone’s day.  On the other hand, an angry word or an impatient gesture can sour anybody’s disposition for hours.
Writer E.V. Lucan put it this way: “One of the most serious thoughts that life provokes is the reflection that we can never tell at the time, whether a word, a look, an occurrence of any kind, is trivial or important.”
Here are a few true stories of how little things aren’t always so little to someone else.  
*  A despondent teen who had recently lost both his father and his best friend went to church, but he sat in a corner and barely participated in the Mass.  Then, during the sign of peace when people acknowledge those around them with a handshake or embrace, he recalls that “two elderly women hobbled over to my solitary corner on fragile legs.  Their journey seemed to take forever, and yet their greeting was warm and caring.  In the time it took them to arrive, I made the decision to rejoin the living.”
*  A woman with several children, including a new baby, felt overwhelmed and discouraged until she got an e-mail from another young mother which said:  “Hi friend – Just wanted to tell you that I think of you often.  Someday we’ll have time to spend together like in the old days.  Keep plugging away, I know you’re a super mother.”  The recipient was so heartened that she started sending friendly notes to neighbors, store clerks and others who could use a good word.
*  After Hurricane Katrina struck New Orleans, one woman returned home expecting a big cleanup.  Instead she found utter devastation.  “There was nothing left of my house but sludge,” she remembers.  With no money, no home and no job she thought seriously about killing herself, but first she felt compelled to return some tools she had borrowed from her local church.  When she arrived, a friend threw her arms around her, saying “I think you need a hug.”  The woman who had lost so much found hope and love in that gesture.  So she joined her neighbors in putting all her energy into restoring their community. 
Everything – everything – in life has consequences.  We can’t always tell when our words and deeds can have a profound impact on others, so let’s make certain that each of our common, everyday interactions with people is as positive as we can make it.  It may help the other guy – it certainly will help you and me.