River Roots Redevelopment: I Don’t Know, But

Selina Pedi-Smith,

Founder, Pellere Foundation

I had a great idea for this week’s column. Then I forgot it.

See, I was driving through Franklin earlier this week, and a thought came to me somewhere around the intersection of Contractors and Connection. It was a really good thought, too. At least, I assume it was.

By the time I got home, though, it was gone. Poof. I’ve been trying to remember it ever since, to no avail. So, I’m going to do my best to mentally retrace my steps and see if I can get somewhere close.

To do that, I need to give a shout-out to DC Salon.

The reason I was in Franklin was to get a haircut. I always forget about something like a haircut until my split ends are throwing wild parties and tying my hair in knots. I had definitely reached that stage. Kai also desperately needed a trim, so I grabbed the first appointments I could find instead of waiting for our usual stylists.

Now, Traci, the owner, is an absolute magician when it comes to my super-fine hair, and she doesn’t judge me for not using products or...doing much of anything with my mop in between trims. Kara works wonders with curly hair like Kai’s. But neither were available straightaway, and I had procrastinated. Shocker, I know.

Anyway, it seemed as good a time as any to give some of the younger stylists a go.

I was not disappointed.

Now…Kai’s hair is curly. I mean...CURLY. And it’s about three different challenging types of curly on one head. We asked Taylor, Kai’s stylist this time, to help us navigate all those textures. Taylor listened, excused herself for a few minutes, and came back to tell us she had asked Traci for advice because she doesn’t work with hair like Kai’s every day.

Then she talked through her plan with us, made sure we were comfortable with it, and got to work.

What struck me was that she wasn’t unsure of herself. She was confident. But she was also completely upfront about the fact that this wasn’t something she does every day. She kept talking with us throughout the process, asking questions and adjusting as she went. Kai got to lead the conversation. By the end, Kai had a fantastic trim, and Taylor had expanded her already-considerable skill set with something new.

The more I thought about it, the more unusual that whole interaction seemed.

Nobody pretended to know everything. Nobody got defensive. Nobody acted like asking for help was a weakness. A younger professional got to stretch her skills. A more experienced professional shared what she knew. A customer got exactly what they needed. Everybody won.

And I couldn’t help thinking about last week’s column. About contractors. About upstarts. About the people who are still learning.

Somewhere along the way, we seem to have lost some appreciation for the phrase, “I don’t know, but I can find out.” That…admitting we don’t know everything about everything is somehow a weakness instead of the first step toward learning more.

But if we want communities that feel like home, well, I think we need many, many more places where people are always allowed to stretch and grow. Mentors willing to share what they know. Beginners willing to try. And… we need the rest of us to give people a little more grace and trust.

Maybe that’s what I was trying to remember on the drive home. Not contractors, specifically. Not even connection, explicitly. Just the willingness to say, and to accept, “I haven’t done this before, but I think I can figure it out.”

Which, now that I think about it, might actually be a better idea than the one I forgot.

---

Rachel Brosnahan is the Community Engagement Coordinator for River Roots Redevelopment. Want to help us rethink what redevelopment can look like—together? Follow the conversation and share your thoughts with us on Facebook and LinkedIn, or reach out directly to rachel@riverrootsredevelopment.org. We’d love to hear from you!