River Roots Redevelopment: “Right, so…. Wait, what was I saying?”

By: Selina Pedi-Smith, Pellere Foundation

If you know me at all, you know that sentence comes out of my mouth at least three times a day.  Sometimes four.  I have a short-term memory that could charitably be described as... not great.  I have Alexa reminders for the notes on my phone, which point to sticky notes in my planner, which sometimes remind me what I was thinking about before I walked into a room and forgot entirely why I was there.

But ask me what someone said on a random Tuesday seven years, two months, and seventeen days ago at 5:02pm?  I’ve got you.

That’s how my brain works. Not broken. Not defective. Just... wired for deep patterns over routine tasks. Big picture over fine print.  And I’ve finally stopped apologizing for it.  Over the years, I’ve noticed something else, too.  It takes time - sometimes a lot of time - to really understand how someone else’s brain functions.  I’ve worked with so many different people over the years, and no matter how fast or slow a project moves or how clear or unclear the goals are, there’s always this quiet work happening in the background… of figuring each other out.

It starts with little moments - a comment, a delayed reaction, a pattern that repeats just enough to get your attention. And then, eventually, if you’ve had enough honest conversations and given it enough space, the rhythm emerges.  Some people need time to process.  Some need structure.  Some need the “why” first.  Others need the “how.”  Some think out loud.  Some keep it all inside until something clicks and suddenly, they’re two steps ahead of you. It’s not good or bad; it just is.

Which brings me to the real point: there is no such thing as a “normal” or “typical” brain. We tend to assume that the way we think is the baseline, and everyone else is either impressively gifted or wildly disorganized. But what if we dropped the comparisons entirely, and just started from curiosity instead? When I stopped worrying about fitting in and started watching how other people move through the world, something shifted. I got better at catching cues. I got more flexible. And I got… happier.

This work we do - community building, neighborhood revitalization, people-powered change - it depends on learning how to move together, even if we think differently. Especially because we think differently.

Sometimes that means a little extra grace when someone thinks and works faster or slower than you do, until you both have the time needed to show each other who you are and what you are capable of. Sometimes it means laughing when you both realize you’ve been talking about the same thing in completely different ways for three months. And sometimes, it means forgiving yourself for the sticky notes, the Alexa reminders, the forgotten names, and the unmistakable feeling that there absolutely, definitely WAS a reason you came into the kitchen. (True story.)

Because in the end, it’s not about learning to think like everyone else. It’s about learning to think with everyone else. And if you feel like your brain works a little differently from those around you? Pair it with kindness, curiosity, and the willingness to try, and you have a fantastic gift. So, stop apologizing for what you can’t do the way someone else can and start paying attention to what you can do. That’s the kind of thinking - the kind of brain - that makes the future possible.

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Rachel Brosnahan is the Community Engagement Coordinator for River Roots Redevelopment. She can be reached by email at rachel@riverrootsredevelopment.org