River Roots Redevelopment: The Humility of Heavy Equipment

By: Selina Pedi-Smith, Pellere Foundation

Here’s a confession: until this summer, I had never driven a skid loader in my life. Not a little one, not a big one - not any one. My husband has been the skid driver up until now. And he’s amazing on one. But, thanks to that persistent early summer rain, I HAD to drive a little skid loader to pull him in our bigger one out of the mud. And, not long after, I was driving the bigger one. Trial by mud, you might call it.

Now, I’m sure some of you have had the pleasure of climbing into a piece of heavy equipment for the first time, but for those who haven’t - it’s humbling. Those controls are twitchy, the machine is heavy, and every mistake is instant feedback. You bump, you scrape, you stall, you sink. For the record, I think I prefer a machine sinking into mud over sinking into gravel. You gotta get pulled out either way, but, at least you can play in the mud while you wait! But I digress.

Learning on the fly is humbling. Humbling doesn’t mean bad, though. It just means you have to admit what you don’t know and be willing to learn in full view of others (like your husband, your kids, your super handy friend, the shed delivery driver...) And let me tell you, I used to hate learning (by failing) in public. So embarrassing! But, over the course of many, many, many years, I’ve grown to accept and even appreciate it. Trial by mud, trial by fire. I still don’t love it, but that’s where real growth happens, whether it’s learning a new skill, learning about ourselves, or learning how to live in a world that never stops challenging us.

Because here’s the thing: if you never put yourself in the seat, you’ll never figure out the controls. You’ll never learn how far you can push before it tips, or how gently you have to feather the lever to keep it steady. You can read manuals and watch videos all day long, but eventually you’ve just got to climb in, look a little ridiculous, and start moving dirt.

That’s where the humility of heavy equipment comes in. It doesn’t let you fake it. It doesn’t let you talk your way around it. You either learn how to run it, or you get stuck - sometimes literally.

And maybe that’s not a bad thing. Because once you’ve had that first awkward, gut-punch, well-dang-I’m-gonna-need-some-help moment, you realize two things: 1) You’re not an all-powerful superhero. But... 2) You’re capable of way more than you thought you were.

Both lessons worth learning.

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Rachel Brosnahan is the Community Engagement Coordinator for River Roots Redevelopment. She can be reached by email at rachel@riverrootsredevelopment.org