The Hardware Man - Mental Health Awareness Month

May is mental health awareness month, where public service announcements are made ensuring you are not alone. However, despite the extra convenience of communication and news, people are feeling more lonely and dissatisfied. Online friends and followers on social media are all well and good but rarely provide real emotional support and encouragement to ones who are struggling.

I have noticed during my time creating content for this column and socials, in the interest of advertising and positive exposure, that most media filters and biases towards bright, cheery, fast, easy and aways working. A camera and a social media account is a ticket to wealth and fame. It glosses over struggling or troubles, pushing the unrealistic concept of life is better for everyone else. I admit it. I emphasize the positives more than the negatives when I write or take a picture. It is better for business.

In reality, the perception of life is balanced with the good, the bad and the ugly. We treasure the nice days when everything works. We accept the days when funds are tight, equipment breaks or someone does us wrong. We work hard for what we have and where we want to go. And we understand that ugly is sometimes part of life that helps us better appreciate the blessings we do have.

Rainy days happen, gloom lingers and the fog refuses to lift from our mind. Fear has torment. The struggle is real, and it’s important to acknowledge that. No one lives a perfectly charmed life. And that’s OK. Depression, grief and anxiety are within the range of normal emotions. The challenge is asking for and accepting help when those emotions never fade.

Maybe that’s why I like working in the hardware industry. It is generally full of can-do attitudes, problem solvers and bootstrappers. Plugged toilet? Here’s what you need. Flooded basement? Let’s get you the supplies to clean it up and repair it. Generally, quick fixes, momentary pain and an emotion of satisfaction once completed. I will acknowledge that as a problem solver, I filter the noise of the issue and look for a root cause. Something physical. A leak, a crack, a bad this or that which identifies the problem. We can fix that.

Sometimes, when a friend expresses their issues and struggles, they just need a confidant, a person willing to listen. Not offering immediate advice or solutions, but an ear for them to vocalize and think out loud, to frame their thoughts and emotions. Talking makes the mind describe the problem, structuralize it and separate it into cause and effect. It is important that as a listener, we recognize the need and react accordingly. Yes, there are some keywords that need to trigger a professional response. But often a hug, a prayer and follow up connection can stabilize a mind that is rocked by emotion. There is a significant amount of trust given to share vulnerabilities as that friend seeks peace. We cannot harshly judge anyone seeking help by telling them to man up or shake it off. Unless you’ve experienced a shade of their crisis, instead offer a steadying sympathetic force in their life.

Self-harm is not OK. Suicide is a most selfish act and leaves a void within the lives of those who care for you. I remember at least three individuals within my circle who needlessly passed this way. Their memory has yet to fade as I recall the impact on their family, co-workers and business. Life can be better for you. Just ask.

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Daniel Karns and his wife own Clintonville Hardware & Rental along with other businesses. Join the discussion by contacting him at info@clintonvillehardware.com.